That unwavering self-confidence is as brittle as an eggshell.
What does the narcissist need to feed his specialness, to what lengths will he go to get it, and is his specialness extreme enough to enable him to rationalize his behavior?
With his brash, self-centered ways, the narcissist can hurt the people around him emotionally, and often.
His deepest fear is of being exposed as “a nothing.” So he will protect his own fragile shell above all else, even if it sometimes emotionally harms the people he loves the most.
Recently at a dinner party, talk turned to the current news story about Bill Cosby.
As the only psychologist at the table, everyone looked at me as one person asked with intense curiosity, “How could anyone victimize women all those years, and still live with himself? ” Since I don’t know Bill Cosby, I can’t speak for him; nor do I know if he is guilty of the accusations against him or not.
But generally, in an actual situation like this, there is an answer to the question. In many ways, it seems like it would be fun to be narcissistic.Wouldn’t it be great to go through life feeling superior to other people, and with unwavering self-confidence? But as we all know, there is a dark side to narcissism.Why is the narcissist in such fear of being a nothing?Because she was raised by parents who responded to her on a superficial level, lauding or even worshiping certain aspects of her which they valued, while completely ignoring or actively invalidating her true self, including her emotions. What does the narcissist need to feed his specialness?So most narcissists grew up essentially over-valued on one level, and Most narcissists do not pose any real danger to the people around them (except perhaps emotionally). Does he need to have a “special relationship” with young boys, like Jerry Sandusky (severe boundary violations)?Does he need to be seen as a mentor to Olympic wrestlers like John Du Pont, as portrayed in The Foxcatcher (exploitation)?